How to Follow Up with Someone Who’s Not Getting Back to You
We’ve all been there. You email someone asking for a conversation, information, input, or an introduction, and you get no response. Whether you are reaching out to a coworker, a client, a recruiter, a classmate, or even an old friend, not everyone will get back to you on your timeline — if at all.
As frustrating and disappointing as it may be, a lack of response doesn’t mean they’re ghosting you. It’s important to maintain perspective. People are often juggling a series of important work and personal responsibilities. Your email probably doesn’t make the top 10 on their priority list. Remembering this can help de-personalize their silence, and make you less hesitant to send a follow up message.
That said, it can still feel awkward to follow up, especially if you need to do so more than once. Here are some key things to keep in mind when you reach out to someone for the second (or third, or fourth) time.
Have a compelling subject line.
Forty-seven percent of emails are opened or discarded based on their subject line alone. Research shows that shorter subject lines with only four words have the highest open rates, which makes sense since two-thirds of emails are read on mobile devices.
For example, Paul, a client of mine, needed his colleague to sign off on a communication plan around the announcement of his move to a new group. His first email, with the subject line “Team communication plan in advance of firm announcement” didn’t get a response. Paul emailed his coworker again, changing the subject line to “Time sensitive: communication plan,” and got an immediate reply.
Though not every email will be urgent, like Paul’s, you still need to be thoughtful about your subject line. Avoid generic phrases like “Following up” or “Checking in.” Those are not only vague — they may also make the reader feel bad for being slow to respond (even further delaying a prompt reply). Instead, use the subject line to give the recipient a short preview of your request. You might say, “Next steps on X project” or “Question on job application.”
Be mindful of your tone.
Tone can easily be misinterpreted via email, so take care to craft a message that sounds friendly and polite. Research shows emails that are slightly to moderately positive in tone have a 10-15% higher response rates than more neutral messages.
Think of your message as a gentle nudge. Imagine receiving an email that says, “Please send your feedback on my project by Thursday,” versus, “Given your experience with these types of projects, I’d love to get your feedback on the work I’ve done so far. This would be a big win for my team and I, so we appreciate you sending any thoughts you have by EOD Thursday.” The former is neutral and could potentially be construed as demanding, whereas the latter is slightly more upbeat and appreciative while also being complimentary to the recipient. Subtle flattery — without going overboard — helps.
Keep it short and use simple language.
No one likes to receive a long or dense email. The most effective messages are short and easily scannable. Research shows that between 75 and 100 words is ideal, yielding the highest response rate at 51%. This means that if you’re forwarding your initial email, your follow-up message should be even shorter.
The same research also shows that using simple language (at a third-grade reading level) results in the highest response rate (53%). Longer, more complex emails are often put to the side and revisited later when the reader has time to focus on your message. This means that longer emails are more likely to be forgotten.
Try keeping it simple and straightforward. For instance, you could say something like, “I’m following up to see if you might have some time to talk in the next week or two about your experience working at Company X, as I just applied for the financial analyst position.”
Make a clear ask.
An unambiguous, direct question will make your request evident to the reader. The clearer you are, the easier it is for them to respond. In fact, you are 50% more likely to get a response if you ask up to three questions than no questions at all. Your questions might sound something like:
- “Is there a time in the next week or two that works for you?”
- “Would you be willing to make an introduction to William Burns?”
- “Do you have some time to talk in the weeks ahead about my development priorities?”
- “Are you able to participate in our conference panel on Women in AI next quarter?”
Give them an out.
One reason someone might not reply to an email is that they aren’t able to help, or don’t feel comfortable following through on your request. Giving your email recipient an out will ease their discomfort and demonstrate humility, making the other person more likely to reply.
Try using one of the following phrases:
- “If you don’t know William well enough to make the introduction, I completely understand.”
- “If you’ve gone in another direction in hiring for this position, please let me know.”
- “If there’s someone else I should reach out to for this information instead, please let me know.”
- “Please let us know if you’re too busy to provide feedback on my project or need more time.”
- “If you’re unable to participate in our panel, we welcome suggestions of other Women in AI that you’d recommend.”
You can also give the recipient a chance to save face by acknowledging that you know they’re busy and have a lot on their plate. The last thing you want is for them to associate negative emotions with receiving emails from you. In this case, a simple statement like, “If you’re too busy or it’s not a good time right now, no problem,” works well.
Be judiciously persistent.
Research shows that asking for what we need reduces anxiety and improves your self-esteem, sense of agency, and the quality of your relationships – not to mention, it may help you to get your request fulfilled. In short, following up is worth the effort.
But there’s a fine line between being persistent and being annoying. You need to demonstrate both assertiveness and good judgment about when to follow up and when it’s time to cut your losses and move on. As a general rule, a week after your initial email is a good time to reach out again as a first follow-up. However, depending on the nature of your request, prior conversations, and/or relevant deadlines, it may be appropriate to follow up sooner.
Unless it’s time sensitive, each successive follow-up should be spaced a bit further apart, adding another week’s time in between, until you’ve followed up three times. There could be an additional fourth “hail Mary” attempt, depending on the situation. One client of mine had interviewed for a senior role and the recruiter said she was impressed and wanted him to meet with the CEO. After three follow-up emails, my client had still heard nothing. It had been six weeks from his last follow-up email. He had nothing to lose, so he decided to email the recruiter one last time and got a response within minutes.
Following up with others who aren’t getting back to you is an inevitable and necessary part of business and accomplishing your goals. Use the strategies above to increase the effectiveness of your follow up and help you get the response you need.
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Young Workers No Longer Get the On-the-Job Training They Need -- So They're Finding It Elsewhere With companies training people less, the most valuable path..
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Nov 23, 2018Help Your New Hires…
3 Ways You Can Help Your New Hires to Succeed Filling a vacant position is expensive, and unless you do these three things, it's liable..
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Nov 15, 2018A Successful Meeting
Three Ways To Prevent Someone From Stealing Your Spotlight In A Meeting We've all been there at one point or another. You're in a meeting,..
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Oct 12, 2018Integrators VS Segmentors
Are your employees integrators or segmentors? An organization has both integrators and segmentors. Being a segmentor is a tough ask. If you choose to be..
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Sep 14, 2018Update Your Resume
Updating Your Résumé Might Mean Updating Yourself It seems like a total no-brainer: you should update your résumé and online profiles when you are job..
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Sep 7, 2018Tap Into Your Motivation!
Putting Yourself In Drive: How To Tap Into Your Motivation The one common component in every great success story is motivation: an ever-elusive elixir that..
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Aug 31, 2018Enhancing your job search
How To Bounce Back When The Job Search Gets You Down With a dream job in mind, an updated résumé in hand and responses to..
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Aug 17, 2018Social media can cost…
When 'What Happens In Vegas' Ends Up In Your Job Search What happens in Vegas really doesn’t stay there. That “funny” picture about that..
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Aug 3, 2018Emotional Intelligence at Workplace
How To Develop More Emotionally Intelligent Employees In the quest to develop leaders who will foster a culture of equity and inclusion in the workplace,..
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Jul 27, 2018Are you ready to…
The Difference Between People Who Succeed and People Who Flop Successful people charge forward, take calculated risks, and come out on top because of it...
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Jul 6, 2018Hiring the right people?
5 Steps to Hiring the Right People for Your Business "Hire slow, fire fast" is great advice, but it's not always easy to follow. The..
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Jun 29, 2018Ready for Entrepreneurial Success?
4 Entry-Level Jobs That Will Prep You for Entrepreneurial Success Success is a journey, not a destination, so think hard about where to start. Entrepreneurship..
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Jun 8, 2018Back On Track
How to get back on track when you’re having an unproductive day A rocky start shouldn’t dictate your entire workday. Do these things to reverse..
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May 4, 2018Strategic Workforce Tools
Your Workforce Tools Are More Strategic Than You Might Think This is not a typical article about attracting talented job candidates or retention — while..
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Apr 20, 2018Engagement Strategy
Don’t Let ‘Meaning’ Be Missing From Your Engagement Strategy Meaning is one of the five keys in building employee engagement and it may be the..
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Mar 30, 2018Inspire Change In Your…
4 Ways To Inspire Change In Your Employees Have you ever listened to a speech that inspired you so much, you were ready to make..
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Mar 23, 2018Employees Feel and Act…
7 Ways to Incent Employees to Feel and Act as Owners Building accountability into your business culture is a leadership process. It can't be driven..
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Mar 16, 2018Don’t Shuffle People Into…
Don't Shuffle People Into the Wrong Job Just Because They're Already on the Payroll You grow your company by putting proven performers where you need..
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Feb 26, 2018Minimise Workplace Negativity
Tips for Minimizing Workplace Negativity To Deal with Negativity in the Workplace, Use These 9 Tips Nothing affects employee morale more insidiously than persistent workplace..
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Feb 16, 2018Fail at Switching Jobs?
This Is the No. 1 Reason Why People Fail at Switching Jobs (and What to Do About It) There's a reason changing careers is so..
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Feb 2, 2018A Technique To Get…
Didn't Get Your Dream Job? This 1 Technique Could Get You a Second Chance Every job seeker experiences this at least once, if not several..
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Jan 26, 2018
Prepare new employees for…
The Best Way to Set New Employees Up for Success Create an onboarding program that's both meaningful and memorable Congratulations; you've just hired a terrific..
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Jan 19, 2018First Hour, Day, Week,…
Do This In Your First Hour, Day, Week, And Month Of Your New Job Getting settled into your new job is the ultimate act of..
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Jan 5, 20187 Ways Modest Leadership…
7 Ways Modest Leadership Increases Team Success When we imagine the traits of successful leaders, whether they are managers, high level executives, CEO's or owners..
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Dec 15, 2017Employee stress during Christmas
Managing employee stress during the festive period More than half of employees feel stressed in the weeks leading up to Christmas, with most calling for..
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Dec 1, 2017Appreciating your employees
How to Avoid the No. 1 Reason People Leave Their Jobs William James, the father of psychology, stated that the most fundamental psychological need is..
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Sep 15, 2017Lost your Job?
Nine Things You Should and Shouldn't Do If You Lose Your Job Most of us wouldn’t think to associate the words "joblessness" and "fun," but..
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Aug 16, 2017Write your first CV
It's all about potential: how to write a CV with no work experience Follow these tips to stand out among competing candidates – from research..
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Aug 4, 2017Is it time to…
The Best Ways to Reward Employees. Having an effective reward program in place can help solve many of your HR issues. Every company needs a..
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Jul 28, 2017Burnout: exhausted or lonely?
Burnout at Work Isn’t Just About Exhaustion. It’s Also About Loneliness More and more people are feeling tired and lonely at work. In analyzing the..
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Jul 21, 2017People don’t take HR…
People Don’t Take HR Seriously; Here’s Why That’s Dangerous Legacy beliefs like being the bad guy and a lack of strategic vision isolates HR, and..
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Jun 30, 2017Career Development
Think Strategically About Your Career Development In a world where the average employee sends and receives 122 emails per day and attends an average of..
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Jun 16, 2017Diversity and Inclusion
Diversity Doesn’t Stick Without Inclusion Leaders have long recognized that a diverse workforce of women, people of color, and LGBT individuals confers a competitive edge..
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Jun 2, 2017Advance Your Career
How To Advance Your Career In A Crappy Entry-Level Job Yes, you can still bring yourself one step closer to snagging that dream job even..
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May 2, 2017Employee Burnout
What causes burnout and how it can affect both the employees and the organisation How HR Can Help Prevent Employee Burnout An engaged workforce. It's..